As you can see, I cut my hair off. Many of my friends and family are confused as to why I decided to make such a drastic change and.. I have honestly not been very vocal about my reasoning. Some think that I solely did it to support the #STANDWITHJETTA campaign.. Some think I was just being me and rebelling… which neither are entirely true or false. I was rebelling in a sense, and Jetta’s post gave me the courage and drive I needed to follow through, but I did not cut my hair off because of her post. This day had been a plan for almost 6 months.
I cut my hair off because I needed to start over. I needed to shed some years. I needed to get rid of negativity. I needed to feel new and improved like my mind and soul are starting to feel. Most importantly, I needed to move forward.
This last year has been such an emotional and spiritual roller coaster. Not only have I grown into my new role as a mother, but I have also overcome many obstacles and challenges my past has left me. I have finally started to really see myself for who I was, who I have become, and who I want to be.
It is amazing what a brand new haircut can do to your mind. I knew that the only way to move forward into the person I wanted was to cut my hair. I cannot explain why it was a haircut and not a new pair of shoes.. and I am sure that my therapist would say otherwise and tell me that my subconscious needed the hair off because of this or the other.. which more than likely would have been true.. because my therapist is always right.
Maybe it was because I have been known for my long blue hair for so long, that I wanted to be known as something else? idk I just know that one night I dreamed of short hair, and I take my dreams seriously..
I was freaking out in the chair while I saw the hair fall.. and fall… and fall. But after I was done and the hair cape came off…. I felt the emotion I needed to feel. I truly felt free. I felt the new start. I felt the past start to feel distant. When I drove back to work from my apt, I was really excited to show everyone my new look. I honestly didn’t care if people were going to hate it or love it, they needed to see the new and improved Kayla.
I strutted and flaunted and shook my hair around. I felt great!
That night when Brandon and I were drifting into snoozeland, I started to think about all the reasons why I did this. Why I am putting myself through this drastic change. I felt emotional… almost to the point of tears.. but it felt great at the same time.
It is going to take me a couple of weeks to truly understand this new haircut, but so far I am completely enjoying it and cannot wait to post about what I love and hate about it in later posts!
Thank you for reading!