An appointment we were genuinely excited for, turned to complete shit within the first 15 minutes of our meeting. !warning – unorganized rant ahead!
*I’m not going to publicly say where we were at or the Dr.’s name (however if you email me I would be more than happy to)*
A couple of weeks ago, we took Cheeks to his first geneticist appointment here locally in Reno. We didn’t know that there was one in town so we were extremely excited when we learned we could take Cheeks to a local Dr. rather than travel out of state.
After about a months wait, our appointment finally came. I had a wide range of questions that I wanted to discuss as well as was excited to hopefully learn some new things about KS I may not have known already.
When the Dr. came into the room, her demeanor was very… bitchy is probably the real term, but to be nice we will say harsh.
She rushed through the opening of her discussion and took out a stapled pamphlet and began “teaching” us about KS…(it would be nice if I could meet a Dr. who doesn’t have to read something off to me that I have already read)…. anyways – as she was rush reading through the paper, she stopped at a point where it talked about Tip of the Tongue phenomenon (you know that moment when you are trying to think of a word and its right at the tip of your tongue and you can’t figure it out?). She said that boys with KS struggle with this on a different level and that Cheeks will more than likely have this happen.
I thought to myself as she was talking, Cool… we will work on it – *cut off by Dr * “So your son is either going to internalize this and not make any friends, or he will become aggressive and you will have a lot of issues.”……… ok… waiting for the third option…… nothing…. blank stares… Me: “Well he has been doing pretty good right now and we are really working on trying to alleviate some of these issues -” Her: “Well he is only two.. once he hits about 5 everything goes down hill.”………………………What? I mean shit lady, lets throw another fucking black cloud on an already stressful situation.. You could have said something positive here. Fuck.
So she goes on talking more about unless information and categorizing my son into different groups… and at this point my anger thermometer is just sllllooooowwwwlllyyy growing… and then the mother load of stupid fucking comments came.
“OH.. and your son will more than likely not go to college.. KS men don’t go to college..” UM…. EXCUSE ME? “…..But its ok though..” (she can OBVIOUSLY see my face of pure explosion at this point).. “Blue collar work is fine too..”……Ok bitch… ok.. and I’m done. Not only was I extremely offended, but I just couldn’t fathom that something so ignorant, stupid, and insensitive was coming out of her mouth. And if you’re reading that and you think, awe thats not too bad… add a condescending and degrading tone on it and then re read. I. Was. PISSED.
So now that this main story (and trust me this isn’t even the whole appointment.. many more things happened), let’s discuss how I am feeling about all of this.
First of all.. I cannot wrap my head around how this woman was hired at a special needs facility. She was harsh, aggressive, insensitive, and honestly I didn’t think she knew as much about KS as she lead on. I don’t say that because the bullshit that ensued at our meeting, but supposedly she had a large amount of clients with KS and also extensive amounts of knowledge.. yet still read everything from a pamphlet..and any time I had a question, she read her answer from the papers.. I call bullshit on that. Personal opinion and not fact.. but my gut tells me bullshit.
Second, give us a little bit of fucking hope man. I left the meeting in tears because I felt that the whole thing was just her saying that your son is not going to succeed and this and that. You don’t even know my son.. you don’t know us.. I felt no hope… no positive.. and scared.
Listen, I am ok with hearing information that maybe I didn’t want to hear.. I’m ok with that. But KS is NOT a disease. There is a wide range of symptoms he COULD have.. not WILL have.. so there is a very large possibility that the things she listed will not happen. THAT and we found out when Cheeks was so young.. there is a lot of early prevention that we are blessed that we can start now.
Third, I absolutely FUCKING HATE when I feel like another fucking number at the DMV. All I want is a Dr. to sit down and TALK to me. Not spout off some random information that is easily accessible online and then make me feel stupid when I have legitimate questions about development and future planning. We need for Dr.s to help support us… not make us feel incompetent.
Needless to say – if you haven’t gotten the vibe already – we will not be seeing said Dr. again, and have plans to in fact travel outside of the state to hopefully get a better plan on the future to come.
Cheeks has been developing SOO wonderfully and we want to keep this momentum going!